


The Phunky Phantom Phenomenon and Phriends

by ScarabKnight



Series: Fire And Ice [2]
Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Nerdiness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:13:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24629095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarabKnight/pseuds/ScarabKnight
Summary: Sidefic to Fire And Ice, following the newly Ember'd group chat!
Relationships: Danny Fenton & Jazz Fenton, Danny Fenton & Tucker Foley & Sam Manson, Ember McLain & Danny Fenton
Series: Fire And Ice [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1780699
Comments: 69
Kudos: 98





	1. Copyright Infringement

**Author's Note:**

> Invisobillboard - Danny
> 
> PoisonIvyWasRight - Sam
> 
> technus but cooler - Tucker
> 
> Shiny Rapidash - Ember
> 
> Bearbert Einstein - Jazz

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Danny, your cult’s acting up again.

**technus but cooler**

r/brandnewsentence

**Invisobillboard**

Ugh.

**Invisobillboard**

Is it the main one or the offshoot?

**Shiny Rapidash**

There’s an offshoot to your ridiculous cult?

**Shiny Rapidash**

Which I still have trouble believing exists, by the way.

**Invisobillboard**

Yeah, they had a big schism about a week back.

**Invisobillboard**

I _think_ it was over the symbolism of my shade of green.

**Invisobillboard**

One side thought it meant rebirth, the other that radioactivity was the future.

**Shiny Rapidash**

… What?!

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

#SupportRebirthDannyTheology

**Invisobillboard**

If you join the cult, I’m disowning you.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

You can’t restrict my religious freedom, _mom._

**technus but cooler**

What’re they doing this time? I’ve not had any complaints come through.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

They’re in the park doing the summoning ritual again. I wouldn’t bother you, but they’ve got a goat on a string this time.

**Invisobillboard**

I was _very clear_ on the ‘no sacrifices if you don’t want me to come down hard on this’ stipulation. On my way.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Come down hard anyway. It’s a _cult._ It will not end well!

**Invisobillboard**

They’re pests at worst! Literally all they do most of the time is wander down the street in black and white robes chanting “He’s a phantom”!

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

And now a goat pays for your complacency. For shame, Danny. For shame.

**Invisobillboard**

A very confused goat now amidst a bunch of frozen cultists.

**Invisobillboard**

It’s the offshoot, by the by. Seems like radioactivity isn’t the only thing they decided to ignore my saying was a bad idea.

**Invisobillboard**

They’ll thaw in an hour or so, reckon you can get the cops there, Tuck? Animal sacrifice has to be illegal.

**technus but cooler**

Probably. I’ll text them.

**technus but cooler**

You know this is going to look like you’re picking sides in a religious squabble, right?

**Invisobillboard**

Probably, but I think I’d rather be seen endorsing the peaceful chanting ones than leaving them to just start sacrificing things to me.

**technus but cooler**

Fair. In more important news, it’s old school patrol night! You three ready?

**Shiny Rapidash**

Three?

**Bearbert Einstein**

He means me!

**Shiny Rapidash**

… Who?

**technus but cooler**

_Whomst_

**technus but cooler**

We need to work on proper group chatese, young lady.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Well, thanks, I needed that flashback to elementary school, dipstick.

**Bearbert Einstein**

It’s Jazz! Danny’s sister? I mostly just lurk around here.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Oh yeah, I remember! Penny still hates you, by the by.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Good, tell her from me it’s mutual and she’s a hack of a psychologist!

**Shiny Rapidash**

You tell her, I don’t wanna start a fight.

**Shiny Rapidash**

The only thing more likely to get her mad than a good solid thwarting by baby pop is having her professional cred questioned.

**Invisobillboard**

_Phrasing._

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**technus but cooler**

That’s going up on urban dictionary before patrol.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Speaking of patrol tonight.

**Invisobillboard**

Here we go.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

I was wondering if you could ask your mom if I could use it this time.

**Invisobillboard**

I can ask, like I’ve done hundreds of times before, and the answer will be the same.

**Invisobillboard**

“Danny, I know you and your friends have been hunting ghosts for two years now, and we’re very impressed, but I can’t let anyone use that outside of emergency situations, it’s too dangerous”

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

OH COME ON

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

I’ve clocked more hours in the ghost zone than her at this point and helped catch hundreds of ghosts! I can handle it! I just want to use it once before Disney sues you guys.

**Invisobillboard**

You have, but that doesn’t mean mom isn’t right. It’s an absolute geeks dream, but _actually_ swinging around a lightsaber is a recipe for limb removal, yours included.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Lightsaber?! Like _Star Wars_?!

**Invisobillboard**

Yup. My mom made it to prove she could, and only afterwards realised the thing didn’t just work on ghosts.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Dad makes things badly; mom makes things too well.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

And it’s _so cool and I want one._

**Shiny Rapidash**

Me too! I loved that movie! Spooks, we’re having a sword fight!

**Invisobillboard**

Definitely no, I can guarantee it.

**Invisobillboard**

And no, I’m not sneaking it out.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Couldn’t you just

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Darn it.

**technus but cooler**

Aha, but now I spy another fan. One who may bring balance to the Force.

**technus but cooler**

Finally, Ember can break the deadlock between me and Danny.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Tucker, _no._ You are not dragging an innocent bystander into your nerd fight.

**technus but cooler**

Nerd fight?! This is the shadow that has hung over our friendship for years!

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Danny, I’m begging you, talk him out of this.

**Invisobillboard**

No, Tuck actually has a point. Ember can be the arbiter we need.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Heck no. It’s been decades since I’ve seen the film. I’m still freaking out over it surviving all this time.

**Invisobillboard**

Wait, film? Singular?

**Shiny Rapidash**

Yeah. Why, they make a sequel?

**technus but cooler**

Aw, nuts. She hasn’t

**technus but cooler**

She _doesn’t know._

**Invisobillboard**

What?

**technus but cooler**

_Danny. Empire. She doesn’t know._

**Invisobillboard**

Oh my god, she doesn’t know.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Explain before I set you on fire, cryptic dipsticks.

**Invisobillboard**

Sam! Get back here, we need you! This isn’t a nerd fight, it’s a nerd intervention!

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Already running to the projection room.

**Invisobillboard**

We’ve got time for _Empire_ before patrol, right Jazz?

**Bearbert Einstein**

Yep, and just to make sure I’m coming too.

**Bearbert Einstein**

I get to witness a ghost’s reaction to [TEXT REDACTED FOR EXPERIMENT INTEGRITY]. You’re advancing the cause of science today, Ember!

**Invisobillboard**

Ah yes. The only reason you might want to hang around.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Danny. Shush.

**Invisobillboard**

I still have pictures of you in your Ember outfit. Pictures cannot be shushed.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Baby pics. In the chat. Danny. _Shush._

**Shiny Rapidash**

I am officially weirded out.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

By _Star Wars_ still existing _,_ science or Jazz?

**Shiny Rapidash**

_Yes._

**Invisobillboard**

There’re 10 _Star Wars_ films now.

**Shiny Rapidash**

There’s **what.**

**Invisobillboard**

10 films. That one film you loved? Yeah, it kinda blew up in a big way.

**technus but cooler**

Hundreds of books, dozens of games, 4 or so TV shows

**technus but cooler**

Wait, Danny, there’s 11 films.

**Invisobillboard**

No, I’m pretty sure there’s only 10

**technus but cooler**

Danny…

**Invisobillboard**

OH WHAT A SHAME IT IS THEY NEVER MADE EPISODE 9. I GUESS WE’LL NEVER GET A RESOLUTION TO ALL THAT.

**technus but cooler**

It happened! I don’t like episode 8, but you don’t see me denying it exists!

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Nerd fight later. Get to my house as soon as. Bring a camera!

**Invisobillboard**

Oh, nearly forgot.

**Invisobillboard**

Ember, do you actually _want_ to see the sequel to the first _Star Wars_ right now?

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Oh. Yeah. Consent. Kind of important.

**Shiny Rapidash**

I mean, _yes,_ but that’s just because you had me at ‘sequel to _Star Wars_ ’

**Shiny Rapidash**

If I get straightjacketed and tied to a chair by your sister though, I _am_ coming for you.

**Invisobillboard**

Fair. I’ll send you a teleport picture!

* * *

**Invisobillboard**

Standard procedure, phones on silent, any comments you want to make, make ‘em on here.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Aaaaaa, this music takes me baaaaaaaack.

**Shiny Rapidash**

And they kept the opening title crawl thing!

**technus but cooler**

I miss being this easily pleased by _Star Wars._

* * *

**Invisobillboard**

I cannot look at the wampa and not think Frostbite these days.

**Invisobillboard**

No Luke, stay, he’ll teach you how to shoot ice from your eyes!

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Who wins in a fight, Danny or a Jedi?

**technus but cooler**

Nope. Not touching that. _Not touching that._

**technus but cooler**

_OK but can the Force affect ghosts_

**Invisobillboard**

… It IS only felt by the living.

**technus but cooler**

I’mma e-mail _Death Battle_.

* * *

**Shiny Rapidash**

Why is everyone cringing at the spite kiss by Leia.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Reasons. Very good reasons.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Jazz why is that worthy of going in your notes

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Answer me

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

_Jazz_

* * *

**technus but cooler**

IMPERIAL MARCH TIME

**Shiny Rapidash**

Oh hey, the evil samurai dude is back as well!

**Invisobillboard**

_Evil samurai dude._

**Invisobillboard**

That is his name now and forever.

* * *

**Bearbert Einstein**

And I thought some of mom and dad’s inventions were impractical. Who designed elephant robots.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Shut, they’re cool.

**technus but cooler**

You get it.

* * *

**Invisobillboard**

“Yeah, I know I’m the member of a military organisation, but the ghost of this dead guy I knew for a day and a half told me to go to a swamp planet, so I’m not going to regroup”.

**Invisobillboard**

Luke, you loveable idiot.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

You know, the whole asteroid chase still holds up really well. Effects are great.

**technus but cooler**

Practical effects still have that magic.

* * *

**Shiny Rapidash**

Why does this green guy sound like a Muppet?

**technus but cooler**

Because he’s voiced by Fozzie.

**Shiny Rapidash**

… he _is,_ what the heck!

* * *

**Shiny Rapidash**

And why is no one cringing when Han kisses Leia?

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Also good reasons and _Jazz why are you writing that down_

**Invisobillboard**

I have way more sympathy for Luke here than I used to.

**Invisobillboard**

Yoda was cool and wise! Luke just needed to settle down and listen!

**Invisobillboard**

And then I got a mentor who relays everything as cryptically as possible.

**Invisobillboard**

It is not fun, even if it is probably for the best.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

How do you spend days in the gut of a giant space worm and _not notice._ Nature doesn’t work like that!

**technus but cooler**

This is what you take issue with?

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

_Yes, darn it._

* * *

**Shiny Rapidash**

Wait, who was that guy in Vader’s helmet?

**Invisobillboard**

That was Luke. You couldn’t tell?

**Shiny Rapidash**

Nah, a lot of Luke is the hair for me.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Also please tell me these bounty hunters get their own film or series or whatever. They all look flippin’ awesome!

**technus but cooler**

You’re in for a treat, then – bounty hunters in general are a good chunk of the franchise.

**Shiny Rapidash**

_Rock and roll!_

* * *

**Invisobillboard**

Just casually lifting a space ship. As you do.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Suddenly I really want the Force.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Yoda has that effect on people.

* * *

**technus but cooler**

I still really like the “throw out a bit of history known to the characters but not us” method of worldbuilding, like whatever went down with Han and Lando.

**Invisobillboard**

Even though it leads to literally everything being explained in excruciating detail?

**technus but cooler**

Death of the author, man.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Almost certainly not what that means.

* * *

**Shiny Rapidash**

Seeing him at a table makes me think – how does Vader _eat_?

**technus but cooler**

He sustains himself on pain and suffering?

**Shiny Rapidash**

So he’s Penny’s ideal date, gotcha.

**technus but cooler**

Oh wow, you don’t even know how _wrong_ that is yet.

* * *

**Shiny Rapidash**

“I _know”?!_ Han, you jerk! That’s not how you respond to I love you!

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Well, what’s he _supposed_ to say? He might be about to die, is he gonna confess then and there?

**Shiny Rapidash**

If that might be your only shot? _Yes._ Take it immediately! Consequences, schmonsequences! Don’t leave things unsaid if you’re gonna die!

**Shiny Rapidash**

I’m not even gonna ask why Jazz is writing that down, it’s too obvious.

* * *

**Shiny Rapidash**

Lando’s a good guy now! I guess betrayal is just easily forgi

**Shiny Rapidash**

Wait, I take it back, he’s being strangled to death.

**Invisobillboard**

Leave Lando be. He’s got people to look out for, he made the best decision he could under the circumstances.

**technus but cooler**

Although for a smart man it took him a while to see how terrible a decision partnering up with the obviously evil Empire was.

**Invisobillboard**

The script makes fools of us all.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Oooo, I can get a good poem out of that line.

* * *

**technus but cooler**

And here we go! Camera’s all set up!

**Invisobillboard**

Oh boy oh boy!

**Shiny Rapidash**

I mean, this is a cool fight, but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be seeing?

**Shiny Rapidash**

I don’t know much about sword fighting, but I’m pretty sure giving ground is bad?

**Shiny Rapidash**

I’M ALSO PRETTY SURE LOSING A HAND IS WORSE.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Does Luke die here? Is that the twist?

**Shiny Rapidash**

…

**Shiny Rapidash**

HE’S HIS WHAT?!

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Please Tucker, please tell me we got all that on camera.

**technus but cooler**

Every moment. And it was glorious.

* * *

**Shiny Rapidash**

Back home!

**Shiny Rapidash**

Yeah. I get why you wanted me to see that. That was _amazing._

**Invisobillboard**

Right?! We can finish up the trilogy another day, patrol time now!

**Shiny Rapidash**

Try not to die, I _need_ to see how this all finishes.

**Invisobillboard**

Managed it so far! Good night!


	2. Spooky Season: Not Sleep Deprivation

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Daniel James Fenton.

**Invisobillboard**

I didn’t do it! Whatever it is, it wasn’t me! I’ve been too busy to mess up!

**technus but cooler**

It’s true! He spent most of last night either punching Fright Knight or getting punched by Fright Knight.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

I am aware, and that’s why I’m telling you now when we’re done with school today, you’re coming to my house and getting some actual sleep.

**Shiny Rapidash**

The dipstick hasn’t been sleeping again, you say?

**Invisobillboard**

I have been! I did, I slept

**Invisobillboard**

Well not _fine_ , Fright Knight related injuries still hurt, but I got 7 hours!

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Then, prey tell, why am I hearing from Star you did something stupid because of sleep deprivation?

**technus but cooler**

Don’t you mean pray tell?

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

I do not.

**Invisobillboard**

The heck am I supposed to have done now?

**Shiny Rapidash**

Let’s ask the source.

**Shiny Rapidash has added Star to The Phunky Phantom Phenomenon**

**Star**

UwU what’s this?

**technus but cooler**

What.

**Tucker Bot**

WARNING! NAME VIOLATION DETECTED! YOU HAVE TWENTY SECONDS TO MAKE IT GOOFY OR IT SHALL BE MADE GOOFY!

**Star has changed their name to Gal 9000**

**Shiny Rapidash**

Ha, nice. You’re really leaning into the whole _2001_ thing, aren’t ya?

**Gal 9000**

Is it weird, should I not? I’ve been too happy to have a nickname I actually like, sorry.

**Shiny Rapidash**

No, no, it’s fine, I’m glad you’ve taken to it!

**Gal 9000**

Great!

**Invisobillboard**

Oh, you should have said you had Star’s number, I’d have added her in with you.

**technus but cooler**

Are we just gonna ignore the uwu?

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Yes.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Ms. Strong. Please present your evidence to the court.

**Gal 9000**

Oh, right. Well, it was during science class, a ghost showed up. Danny just yawned, walked up to him and punched him in the face.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Sounds pretty normal to me?

**Gal 9000**

Danny was still human when he did that.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Oh, goodness me, look at the time.

**Shiny Rapidash**

_kidnapthedipstickoclock.jpeg_

**technus but cooler**

Yes! My meme crash course sunk in!

**Invisobillboard**

Your sad devotion to those ancient memes has not conjured up anything of use.

**technus but cooler**

They’re not ancient, they’re vintage. Memes don’t die. And don’t you quote _Star Wars_ at me.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

And there we have it. Danny, either Ember’s kidnapping you or I am. Take your pick.

**Invisobillboard**

Option C, neither. Star, if you’d care to tell the court exactly who this ghost was?

**Gal 9000**

Oh, the um

**Gal 9000**

What’s his name. Loud and obnoxious.

**technus but cooler**

Well, that could be anyone.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Dipstick included.

**Gal 9000**

Box Ghost! That was it!

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

… Oh. Well.

**Shiny Rapidash**

False alarm then, no kidnapping. This time.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

You’re on thin ice, though, buster. You look after yourself this month or I swear I will force you to.

**Shiny Rapidash**

What spooks said, baby pop. Kidnapping is always on the cards.

**Invisobillboard**

Thank you for the ultimatum when I’ve done _nothing wrong._

**Gal 9000**

What just happened?

**technus but cooler**

I’ll explain later. Good call on letting us know about that, though.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Yeah, if that wasn’t the only ghost Tucker could beat in a fight, we’d need to know to stop Danny being stupid.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Again.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

As you say.

**Invisobillboard**

Monsters. All of you.

**Invisobillboard**

Except Star.

**Gal 9000**

Yay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna chuck up a few shorter ones of these over the next few days, mostly covering the two weeks between mini-arcs in Fire And Ice, also known as Spooky Season.


	3. Spooky Season: Too Quiet

**technus but cooler**

OK, that does it. The tension is killing me.

**Invisobillboard**

You’ll get _Doomed Forever_ in a few weeks, Tuck, be patient.

**technus but cooler**

Not _that,_ although now I’m nervous and also craving that game.

**technus but cooler**

We’re nine days into October, and every day has been rammed with ectoplasm and terror.

**technus but cooler**

_Except today._

**Invisobillboard**

… you know, fair point. I was just enjoying the quiet, but maybe I should be more paranoid.

**Shiny Rapidash**

That is never a sentence that ends well long term.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

We _are_ pretty much always under siege by the undead.

**Invisobillboard**

Stop making it sound grimmer than it is.

**technus but cooler**

You hypocrite.

**Gal 9000**

Yeah, it’s more fun than that!

**technus but cooler**

… Anyone else just get whiplash from that statement?

**Shiny Rapidash**

Little bit.

**Gal 9000**

What? It is fun! How often do people get to deal with actual ghosts and stuff? I wanna smack some ghosts around!

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Who had “Star is secretly bloodthirsty” on their bingo cards?

**Shiny Rapidash**

Me. I fought her. She was _very_ into it.

**Gal 9000**

Is that a bad thing?

**Invisobillboard**

Nah. About the only other person that into fighting ghosts is Val, and living in Amity Park, that’s probably useful.

**Bearbert Einstein**

You know, mom would be willing to give you some training if you wanted to join a patrol some time?

**Gal 9000**

Really?! That’d be so cool!

**Invisobillboard**

We’ll set something up. Meantime, Tuck IS kinda right. Where is anyone?

**Shiny Rapidash**

I can _feel_ everyone’s metaphorical eyes looking at me and I want you to stop.

**Shiny Rapidash**

How the heck would I know. I’m not the person everyone goes to for evil plan help.

**technus but cooler**

Is there someone like that?

**Shiny Rapidash**

Eh, varies. Sometimes it’s Penny, sometimes it’s Technus, sometimes the trashcan.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Mostly they don’t bother and just plough on anyway.

**Invisobillboard**

That sounds about right.

**technus but cooler**

So, I know this might be a little premature, but…

**technus but cooler**

If nothing turns up today, plans?

**Invisobillboard**

Hey, Em, wanna watch _Return of the Jedi_?

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

The literal first idea, huh, _Tucker_?

**technus but cooler**

I stand by what I said before, not gonna happen.

**Invisobillboard**

I beg of you, please make sense.

**technus but cooler**

Indiko libera…

**Shiny Rapidash**

Nah. I’d like to, but I don’t wanna blow through everything at breakneck pace. Same time November works for that, though.

**technus but cooler**

You know what, admirable restraint.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Yeah, now I feel bad staying up all night to binge watch _Obsidian Nights and Black Lights._

**Gal 9000**

The goth detective show? Is it any good?

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

I mean, I like it, but it’s kinda impenetrable if you’re not already deep in the goth scene.

**Gal 9000**

How do you mean?

**Invisobillboard**

She means she made me and Tuck watch a few episodes and we said it was totally impenetrable for anyone not neck deep in goth.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Not my fault you lack taste.

**technus but cooler**

What the heck was that?!

**technus but cooler**

You all felt that, right?

**Bearbert Einstein**

Oh, so that wasn’t just something exploding in the lab again.

**Invisobillboard**

Nope. I’m gonna go check it out.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

There goes day off, I suppose. No way a small earthquake isn’t a Danny problem manifesting.

**technus but cooler**

Um.

**technus but cooler**

OK, that’s new.

**Gal 9000**

I think I’m going to regret asking.

**Gal 9000**

But why is there a giant robot on the town outskirts?

**technus but cooler**

Thaaaaat looks an awful lot like a Gundam.

**Invisobillboard**

That’s because it _is_ a Gundam. The RX-78-2, to be specific.

**Gal 9000**

Didn’t have you pegged as a fan, Danny.

**Invisobillboard**

Oh, _I’m_ not.

**Invisobillboard**

I will ask this very softly, and only once.

**Invisobillboard**

Which one of you _irresponsible lunatics_ introduced _Youngblood_ to anime?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's two of probably three.
> 
> That little bit of esperanto Tucker spouts means "Indication free", which is as close to "Clueless" as I can get the language to make.
> 
> Oh, and for those asking, we will be doing another of these with everyone reacting to building demolition, just later on. Probably after the next Fire And Ice chapter proper.


	4. Spooky Season: Sweet Reunions

**Bearbert Einstein**

Well, that was unexpected.

**Invisobillboard**

Oh, what now? Is it the bees again?

**Invisobillboard**

I’m not dealing with the ghost bees again.

**Invisobillboard**

Someone else can catch the spectral hive, I am done with bees.

**Invisobillboard**

Why are there even ghost bees at all.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Well, they _are_ kind of dying off at unsustainable rates because of human interference.

**Invisobillboard**

Oh great, now I'm covered in stings and feeling guilty! Huzzah!

**technus but cooler**

You, uh, doing OK there, man?

**Invisobillboard**

I’m a _mite frazzled,_ thank you for noticing!

**Invisobillboard**

We’re not even halfway through October and I’ve had to deal with _so much nonsense._

**Gal 9000**

Would cookies help? I just got done with a batch!

**Invisobillboard**

… You know what, yes, cookies would be _immensely_ helpful.

**Gal 9000**

Great! Offer’s open to everyone! Come round for cookies!

**Shiny Rapidash**

Darn it, save me some! I can’t cross over right now, working on something.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

What’re you working on?

**Shiny Rapidash**

Secret.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Ominous.

**technus but cooler**

Well, while most of us are travelling

**technus but cooler**

What’s up, Jazz?

**Bearbert Einstein**

So, you know it was mom and dad’s college reunion thing today?

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

The one your dad described as the first opportunity he’s had to gloat he was right the whole time?

**Invisobillboard**

Oh yeah. He’s been wanting to go to that since he had to miss the one last year.

**Shiny Rapidash**

What, they couldn’t have stuck around to help right now?

**Invisobillboard**

Eh, they’d both been looking forward to it, even if mom wouldn’t admit it was to lord it over everyone.

**Invisobillboard**

Not gonna take nice things from them when I can handle things here.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Can you, though? Can you really handle it?

**Invisobillboard**

I can so handle it!

**Shiny Rapidash**

Bees.

**Invisobillboard**

LALALA CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF COOKIES.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Anyway, I went along with them, mostly just to have a look around the campus.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Still might take another year before I go to college, by the way. Can’t really research ghost psychology anywhere else.

**technus but cooler**

Fair enough. Plus, I know Danny would miss you on the comm.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Why am I having to hear that from someone who _isn’t_ my darling brother?

**Invisobillboard**

Because you call me your darling brother publicly.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Aversion to familial affection…

**Invisobillboard**

Hush your analysis and more story.

**Bearbert Einstein**

So, they were all in the meeting hall, drinking some punch while dad told ~~outrageous lies~~ stories about some of his and Danny’s adventures, and mom was pretending to not be giddy about getting to explain ghost biology to people who wanted to listen.

**Bearbert Einstein**

When a ghost walked through the wall, saying he was here for the reunion.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Heck. Anyone we know?

**Bearbert Einstein**

Well, he says he met Danny and taught him about Christmas or something.

**Invisobillboard**

Ghost Writer?! When did he get out of Walker’s prison?!

**Bearbert Einstein**

No idea. You’d have to ask him. Or maybe mom, because he says he _knew_ her from before he died.

**Invisobillboard**

What.

**technus but cooler**

You’re kidding, right?

**Bearbert Einstein**

Mom confirmed it! He was an English major she knew, both of them were up late nights in the library apparently. They talked ghost stories a lot. He died midway through the third year, caffeine overdose and a couple of days with no sleep to get a deadline done.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Anyway, he said he was attending this one because he thought mom and dad might have gotten past enough of their misconceptions that they wouldn’t just shoot him on sight.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Which I’m betting Jack did anyway?

**Bearbert Einstein**

Tried to. Mom stopped him, thankfully, and he just joined in with the rest of the reunion.

**Bearbert Einstein**

He even said he’d let me interview him if he came to visit!

**technus but cooler**

Neat! First subject who’s a full ghost, right?

**Bearbert Einstein**

Yes! I’m quite excited!

**Invisobillboard**

Huh. Well, I guess I’ll hear more when you guys get back tonight.

**Invisobillboard**

Until then, Star, we’re outside and ready for

**Invisobillboard**

_Darn it_

**Gal 9000**

What happened?

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Ghost sense went off. He had to fly.

**Gal 9000**

Nuts. I was hoping we could give him a bit of a break before he had to go back to it.

**technus but cooler**

Ah, a Dantervention. You’re learning, Ms. Strong.

**Gal 9000**

It’s probably bad you have a name for it.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Probably, but when it happens often enough, it gets a name.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Yeah, baby pop’s too selfless for his own good.

**Bearbert Einstein**

I think I can talk mom and dad into taking Friday patrol solo. You’ve got a half day then, right?

**technus but cooler**

Yeah, that’d be good for him. And these cookies, assuming we manage to save any, because I kinda can’t stop eating them.

**Gal 9000**

Is he actually inhaling them?!

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

You get used to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so concludes the half month or so gap between VR Troopers and the Demolition Derby. Shoutout to dance_of_pales for suggesting Ghost Writer as someone Jack and Maddie might have known when he was still alive!
> 
> Next up, everyone reacting to the death of the last Mastercorp building.


	5. Party Planning

**_14/10_ **

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Well. It seems _something_ interesting happened last night.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Hm? Oh, did it really?

**Invisobillboard**

First I’m hearing of it. Whatever do you mean, Sam?

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Cut it out. Tucker, did you know about this?

**technus but cooler**

Tucker? Who is Tucker? I am Tuquere Folee, Haitian transfer student. I am not the handsome mayor of this delightful town/city who should definitely not be involved in legally actionable discussion of illegal building demolition.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Smooth.

**Invisobillboard**

Hey, “Tuquere”. Would you mind pressing the button on Tucker’s PDA that says “secure communications”?

**technus but cooler**

Done.

**Invisobillboard**

Excellent. Ms. McLain?

**Shiny Rapidash**

Mr. Fenton.

**Invisobillboard**

_We trashed that place pretty good, huh?!_

**Shiny Rapidash**

_Heck yeah we did!_

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Oh, _yes!_ Finally!

**technus but cooler**

How’d it feel to finally deck that statue?

**Invisobillboard**

Watching that thing cave in on itself after we blasted it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

**Invisobillboard**

The fact he’d somehow designed it to be load bearing, less so.

**technus but cooler**

He what?!

**Shiny Rapidash**

Yeah, when we took that hideous thing out, the rest of the building crumbled around it.

**Gal 9000**

Oh my gosh! That sounds super illegal! Who owned the building? They need to be arrested!

**Invisobillboard**

I know she doesn’t know, but I am nevertheless laughing my head off right now.

**Shiny Rapidash**

At her not knowing, or that she’s more bothered by the building caving in than us trashing a building?

**Invisobillboard**

_bothisgood.gif_

**technus but cooler**

The building in question is the big office block up on Voorhees.

**Gal 9000**

Doesn’t that belong to

**Gal 9000**

Oh.

**Gal 9000**

HA! Take that, you vampire weirdo!

**Shiny Rapidash**

And there we go! God, it was fun.

**Invisobillboard**

We went through the whole place floor by floor and _wrecked it._

**Shiny Rapidash**

Oh hey, baby pop, wanna tell them what Plasmius wanted to keep it for?

**Invisobillboard**

I nearly forgot! The best bit:

**Invisobillboard**

_Thefruitloopsridiculousletter.jpeg_

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Sfhgerhghru

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

_Of course that’s the reason._

**technus but cooler**

For a smart guy, Masters never did figure out the Packers are collectively owned, huh?

**Invisobillboard**

We got some videos and pics of the destruction I can show you at the VRCade later on.

**technus but cooler**

I and my secret YouTube account wait with baited breath.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Did you know those creepy paintings were on every floor? Glad Kitty had her lipstick on her.

**Invisobillboard**

Vlad with Cruella de Ville’s outfit but in red worked too well on him.

**technus but cooler**

Hold up, did you say Kitty?

**Invisobillboard**

Oh right! Her and Johnny were having a date night, so I figured why not utilise their destructive tendencies for good.

**Shiny Rapidash**

“Good”.

**Invisobillboard**

For petty vengeance.

**Shiny Rapidash**

_Thank_ you.

**Invisobillboard**

In any case, me and Ember got into a few competitions with them with destroying all the floors.

**Invisobillboard**

Did you get that pinball machine out, by the way?

**Shiny Rapidash**

Went down with the building. Guess I’ll have to design my own.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Isn’t that going to be a problem? Getting spotted together by other ghosts and all that.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Nah, we’re fine. Kitty’s a friend.

**Invisobillboard**

Plus we had a fool-proof ruse concocted.

**Gal 9000**

That sounds like something you say right before they break through a wall screaming “I know what you did”.

**technus but cooler**

Uncanny. She really is a natural at this.

**Shiny Rapidash**

I know Kitty. She bought it.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Did you ask Johnny and Kitty about your idea?

**Invisobillboard**

Oh yeah, that was like ten floors in. Actually, are you still around, Jazz? Wanna double check you’re still alright with it in person.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Yes, I’m downstairs. I’ll meet you in the kitchen.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Well, I don’t know. Does anyone else know?

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

And why do you know and not me.

**technus but cooler**

We’ve been over this, pre-emptive threats are unproductive.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Fine. Just the first one then.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Danny wants to let Johnny and Kitty through for dates as long as they behave. They’ve got a few hoops he wants them to jump through, first off being apologising to me.

**Gal 9000**

Which are those two again?

**technus but cooler**

The biker ghost and his girlfriend.

**Gal 9000**

Oh, them! Make sense, Val always told me they were mostly harmless.

**Invisobillboard**

They are, when Johnny isn’t in a fighting mood. And even then, it’s mostly me he wants to fight.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Barring one time.

**Invisobillboard**

The victim of which I have just gotten permission from. I’ll see you guys at the VRCade later, assuming nobody comes through for shenanigans, gonna drop some stuff off first.

**Gal 9000**

He seems less stressed.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Yeah, we marathoned _Nebula Patrol_ at my place and had a pillow fight before we went out to play at demolition crew. He said it helped him unwind.

**Gal 9000**

Aw! That’s good! He’s needed it.

* * *

**_16/10_ **

**Invisobillboard**

OK, I’d like you all to not immediately freak out at what I’m about to do.

**technus but cooler**

Is there any sentence more calculate to make me freak out?

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

“Tucker, we need to talk”

**technus but cooler**

Yeah, actually, that’d do it.

**Invisobillboard**

Thank you for the distraction, Sam.

**Invisobillboard has added Kitty and Johnny to The Phunky Phantom Phenomenon**

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Danny, you _idiot,_ what have you done?!

**Invisobillboard**

I was expecting a reaction, but maybe not that extreme?

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

_Who else is in this chat that can’t be discovered in this chat, Danny?!_

**Shiny Rapidash**

Aw, spooks, you do care!

**Shiny Rapidash**

I’m touched, and that was only a _little_ sarcastic.

**Kitty**

Hey Ember!

**Tucker Bot**

WARNING! NAME VIOLATION DETECTED! YOU HAVE TWENTY SECONDS TO MAKE IT GOOFY OR IT SHALL BE MADE GOOFY!

**Kitty has changed her name to Kitty Got Claws**

**technus but cooler**

Nice, nice, I’ll allow it.

**Invisobillboard**

Soooo, remember that fool-proof ruse I talked about?

**Gal 9000**

They busted down a wall and screamed “I know what you did” at you?

**Invisobillboard**

… Metaphorically, yes.

**Gal 9000**

I _knew_ it!

**Kitty Got Claws**

Ember’s wall, actually! Couldn’t just bust down Danny’s, I’d probably get shot.

**Johnny**

Like Ember wouldn’t shoot you too, Kitten.

**Tucker Bot**

WARNING! NAME VIOLATION DETECTED! YOU HAVE TWENTY SECONDS TO MAKE IT GOOFY OR IT SHALL BE MADE GOOFY!

**Johnny**

Um.

**Johnny**

Heck, I can’t think of anything. Help?

**technus but cooler**

Tick tock, tick tock, Mr. 13…

**Johnny**

Ah, screw it

**Johnny has changed his name to Rebel Without A Pulse**

**Gal 9000**

Wow! That’s a _really_ good name for you!

**Rebel Without A Pulse**

Thanks, babe. Wanna go for a ride later and I can show you how good it is?

**Gal 9000**

Um. No thanks. You’re not my type.

**Kitty Got Claws**

…

**technus but cooler**

Johnny, you dipstick.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Hey, that’s my line!

**Rebel Without A Pulse**

What? I was justudhswrjgneo

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

And there’s Kitty.

**Rebel Without A Pulse has changed his name to Rebel Without A Brain**

**Rebel Without A Brain**

Johnny will be right back once he’s done paying for his crimes.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Offer for couples counselling is still on the table, you two.

**Gal 9000**

Looks like they need it.

**Kitty Got Claws**

We’re fiiiiiiine!

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Debateable.

**Invisobillboard**

_Anyway._

**Invisobillboard**

I invited the two of them in here because a), Kitty caught me and Ember but is alright with keeping it secret and b), it’s probably easier to co-ordinate them coming through with _everyone_ instead of just me.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Oh, is that why they’re in the ghost hunters chat as well?

**Invisobillboard**

Yeah. Better than having one of us blast them by accident.

**Kitty Got Claws**

What about c), _this?_

**Invisobillboard**

… Is there some punchline I’m not getting?

* * *

**Kitty has created the group Party Planning**

**Kitty has added Tucker, Star and Jazz to Party Planning**

**Kitty**

Hey, everyone! So, I’ve got an idea for you all!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thanks dance_of_pales for Kitty's chatname, was struggling with that one.
> 
> Probably gonna be less following up on Fire And Ice stuff in here for a while and more everyone being goofy. Probably better, honestly.


	6. Crush Judgement

**technus but cooler**

Velma Dinkley.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Oh, sure, you’ll crush on the fictional female nerds, but you won’t date the ones we’ve got at school!

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

And yes, I am only saying that because I can’t fault your choice otherwise.

**technus but cooler**

Because there aren’t any at Casper!

**Invisobillboard**

Oh yeah? What about Marianne, in our chemistry class? Absolute chemical genius and _very_ cute.

**technus but cooler**

She doesn’t count!

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

And why is that?

**technus but cooler**

Because then I’d be wrong!

**Shiny Rapidash**

Calling other girls cute, huh?

**Rebel Without A Brain**

Yeah, ya hypocrite!

**Kitty Got Claws**

Danny, shame on you! I thought you were better than this.

**Invisobillboard**

I can admit that people are cute without being attracted to them, jeez.

**Invisobillboard**

For example – everyone in this group chat is some mix of gorgeous/handsome/cute. But I’m not romantically attracted to most of you.

**Bearbert Einstein**

That’s very mature of you, Danny.

**Invisobillboard**

It’s the one and only lesson you can learn from Paulina.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Good grief, you found a use for her.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Someone had to eventually.

**Gal 9000**

What have I walked into here?

**Shiny Rapidash**

Oh hey. We’re just judging everyone’s fictional crushes.

**Gal 9000**

Oooo!

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Alright, Danny, your turn.

**Invisobillboard**

Jenny Wakeman.

**technus but cooler**

My dude, I’m the tech geek and even I’m not gonna fall in love with the robot.

**Invisobillboard**

Then your taste is terrible. Jenny is adorable and sweet.

**Gal 9000**

So, she’s six foot six, according to Google?

**Gal 9000**

Smol Phantom.

**Invisobillboard**

I am absolutely fine with being the short one in a relationship.

**Kitty Got Claws**

She’s made of metal! You kiss her, you get an electric shock.

**Invisobillboard**

Worth.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

‘Sides, it’s not like it’s got a real personality. Programming that emulates humanity doesn’t count.

**Invisobillboard**

Isn’t that all we are, though? Biological programming?

**technus but cooler**

And Sam goes ominously silent.

**Invisobillboard**

Well, while she tries to logic her way outta that, Jazz, you’re up.

**Bearbert Einstein**

The Doctor.

**Invisobillboard**

Which one?

**Bearbert Einstein**

Yes.

**Rebel Without A Brain**

I mean sure, if you wanna be dating a handful of older guys at the same time, I’m not gonna judge you.

**Rebel Without A Brain**

Sorry, typo. I’m gonna judge you.

**technus but cooler**

Yeah, come on Jazz, pick one.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Fine, the eighth.

**Invisobillboard**

Oh. Oh, ho _ho_.

**Kitty Got Claws**

OK, at least looks wise, not a bad choice for an older guy.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Danny, I heard that cackle. What’s so funny?

**Invisobillboard**

Oh, nothing. Just I heard who’s in talks to play Vlad in the film.

**Bearbert Einstein**

… Oh no.

**Invisobillboard**

Oh yeah! You still got a crush on the guy who the world’s gonna know as Vlad?

**Bearbert Einstein**

I hate you. _So much._ How could Paul McGann do this to me.

**Bearbert Einstein**

Star, you can go if you’d like, I need to throttle Danny.

**Gal 9000**

Oh!

**Gal 9000**

Um. OK. I trust you guys.

**Gal 9000**

Kim Possible.

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

Cheerleader propaganda!

**technus but cooler**

That’s your first response?

**PoisonIvyWasRight**

It is when her choice is cheerleader propaganda!

**Invisobillboard**

I mean, sure, if you’re comfortable hanging around that Ron guy all the time. Hope you enjoy substandard Mexican food!

**Gal 9000**

OK, that’s unfair. We don’t know if it’s bad!

**Invisobillboard**

Bueno Nacho is frequented by Ron and based on Taco Bell. Good luck testing that assumption.

**Rebel Without A Brain**

So is, uh, nobody gonna address the elephant in the room with that one?

**Kitty Got Claws**

Fine, I will. Just girls, or both, or what?

**Gal 9000**

I’m not really sure yet?

**Gal 9000**

It changes every time I ask myself.

**Invisobillboard**

Fair. We’re all here to talk if you need to.

**Invisobillboard**

I can’t guarantee a single one of us will be actually _useful_ on the subject, but still.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Me and Kitty’ll hit you up next time we’re in Amity, if it helps. We’ve worked through all this before. A couple of times, really.

**Gal 9000**

Thanks, Danny! And you too, Ember!

**Rebel Without A Brain**

So _that’s_ why she wasn’t interested.

**Shiny Rapidash**

No, pretty sure that was just you being you, grease ball.

**Rebel Without A Brain**

Hey!

**Shiny Rapidash**

Kitty, sic ‘em.

**Rebel Without A Brain**

What did I do wrofoihjgdhnsoht

**Invisobillboard**

Ah, heck, Klemper’s making a mess in the mall again. I gotta go.

**technus but cooler**

OK, wait, before you go, pick one of the fictional crushes you’ve already mentioned you’d want to be real.

**Invisobillboard**

Marceline the Vampire Queen.

**Invisobillboard**

I’ll check in later!

**technus but cooler**

Well, well, well.

**technus but cooler**

Interesting choice.

**Shiny Rapidash**

What, why’s it interesting?

**technus but cooler**

Oh, nothing. Just that Marceline is a guitar playing supernatural ex-villain and _she’s_ the one Danny would want to be real.

**Kitty Got Claws**

Ah, juicy, juicy _implications._

**Shiny Rapidash**

Shuddup, dipsticks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a while, huh?
> 
> Bad brain times meant I could only really focus on one thing at a time, but I'm better now, so here's more of this! Just the lot of them goofing off, but hey, inconsequential chatter is more or less the whole of this particular side-fic. The next one will be mildly more related to the goings on of the main fic, thanks to a good prompt by Sport21. The next one is your fault!
> 
> Also if anyone's curious:  
> Ember: Spider-Man.  
> Kitty: Johnny Strabler.  
> Johnny: Betty Cooper.  
> Sam: The Teen Titans Robin.


	7. Entertainingly Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post-Thanksgiving!

**Bearbert Einstein**

Well, I still can’t move properly. I think I had way too much turkey.

**Invisobillboard**

Potatoes for me. I try not to take after dad too much, AND THEN.

**Invisobillboard**

You get back OK, Em?

**Shiny Rapidash**

Oh yeah. Fine. Just

**Shiny Rapidash**

A little tired, I guess.

**Bearbert Einstein**

I’m in a similar condition. Going to take a nap, I think. Good night, everyone!

**Invisobillboard**

Night, sis. I’ll be flopped on the couch watching movies with dad if you need me.

**Invisobillboard**

And by need me, I mean you are in danger of imminent death.

**Invisobillboard**

I’m not moving for anything else.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Think I’ll sleep as well.

**Shiny Rapidash**

Night.

**Ember has created the group “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”**

**Ember has added Star and Kitty to AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA**

**Ember**

BABY POP HAS A KID I’M FREAKING OUT

**Kitty**

Beg pardon, _what?_

**Ember**

He just told me! He was super vague about the whole thing, said he didn’t want to give away information without her consent.

**Ember**

But there’s this _missing relative_ who has a _near-identical ecto-signature_ to him!

**Ember**

I don’t know what else it could be! He has a freaking _daughter!_

**Kitty**

… Uh huh. Lemmie just make some edits here.

**Kitty has changed the name of the group from “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” to “The Paranoid Ramblings of a Conspiracy Theorist”**

**Kitty**

There we go, much better.

**Ember**

I’m being serious!

**Kitty**

I know, and that’s what makes this sad.

**Kitty**

Ember, Danny is _sixteen._

**Kitty**

How in the heck is he going to have a missing kid? Who’s the mother, even?

**Ember**

Have you got a better explanation for why a missing relative would have an ecto-signature _at all_ , never mind one like his?!

**Kitty**

… OK, I don’t. But that doesn’t automatically mean he’s a _dad_.

**Kitty**

Actually, why is this the first I’m hearing of this? “Phantom has a missing relative” should be way bigger news than _this._

**Ember**

Ah yes. Just announce to the world that your daughter is missing and you don’t know where she is. I’m sure the Dipsticks in White would be thrilled to help.

**Kitty**

Alright, that’s actually a good reason.

**Kitty**

It doesn’t mean he’s got a secret daughter though. She’d be, what, 2? At the oldest? Where would she even go?

**Ember**

… That’s true.

**Kitty**

See?

**Star**

Um.

**Star**

So, do you remember when we went shopping and you guys filled me in about some ghost stuff?

**Star**

Didn’t you say Danny hangs around with a ghost who controls time or something?

**Kitty**

Yeah, Clockwork. Big honcho, do not mess with him, you will lose kinda deal.

**Star**

Right. So couldn’t she be from the future?

**Ember**

Future daughter! That fills in the gaps!

**Kitty**

… Oh my God, he has a kid.

**Ember**

Thank you!

**Ember**

Now HELP!

**Star**

What do you need us to do?

**Star**

Actually, why is it just us?

**Ember**

Because you guys

**Ember**

I

**Ember**

You both

**Kitty**

We’re your friends and you trust us to help?

**Ember**

… Yes.

**Ember**

That.

**Star**

Awwww!

**Ember**

Don’t you get sappy on me, this is serious!

**Star**

Right. Sorry. What should we do?

**Kitty**

If she’s from the future, is she your kid?

**Ember**

… _I DIDN’T EVEN THINK OF THAT._

**Ember**

I’m not ready to be a mom!

**Ember**

Is that what the dipstick expects out of this? For me to be the kids mother?

**Ember**

I’m cut out for cool aunt, _maybe._ I’m not mom material! I’m too young for this!

**Ember**

And what if she _isn’t_ mine? Do me and baby pop not last?!

**Star**

Aren’t you technically 60 something?

**Kitty**

Nah, ghosts don’t really age physically OR mentally.

**Kitty**

For the most part. There’re circumstances.

**Star**

Oh, interesting!

**Ember**

Yes, fascinating, now HELP ME DEAL WITH THIS.

**Star**

Hm. OK!

**Star has added Tucker to The Paranoid Ramblings of a Conspiracy Theorist**

**Tucker**

Who summoned me.

**Kitty**

Star did. Scroll up for why.

**Ember**

STAR WHY.

**Star**

What, he might know more than we do, and he can tell us what’s going on!

**Ember**

That’s

**Kitty**

Get truth, then freak out.

**Ember**

Fine.

**Tucker**

Oh, sweet zombie Jesus.

**Tucker**

Look, Danny’s asked us all to not talk about Danielle all that much until we find her, so I can’t say much.

**Tucker**

But she’s not his daughter.

**Tucker**

Or yours, for that matter.

**Ember**

Are you sure?

**Tucker**

_Very._

**Tucker**

Trust me, she’d _wish_ you were her parents.

**Ember**

… OK.

**Ember**

Thanks, geek.

**Tucker**

You’re welcome, Conspiracy Theorist.

**Ember**

Shut.

**Kitty**

It really says something about your lives that this was legitimately a plausible conclusion to reach, though.

**Star**

Nothing too crazy has happened to me yet.

**Tucker**

Give it time.

**Tucker**

Anyway, back to food coma.

**Tucker has left The Paranoid Ramblings of a Conspiracy Theorist**

**Ember**

OK, I’m calming down now, I swear.

**Ember**

Why is panicking exhausting.

**Kitty**

This was a spike of excitement I wasn’t expecting.

**Kitty**

Almost wish she _was_ your kid.

**Kitty**

I like the sound of Aunt Kitty.

**Ember**

Nope. Not going through the existential panic of motherhood again.

**Ember**

Sleep now.

**Star has changed the name of the group from “The Paranoid Ramblings of a Conspiracy Theorist” to “Girl Talk”**

**Kitty**

Yes, girl!

**Star**

Girl friend chat!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said, you can blame Sport21 for this particular prompt, plus it gave me an opportunity to confirm somewhere that yes, it’s Danielle the Fenton’s are looking for. It’s not meant to be any kind of secret, but I had no handy means of expressing it until this.
> 
> Plus the notion of Ember absolutely freaking over thinking Danny had a kid was too funny to not do.

**Author's Note:**

> Wanted to take a quick break before going straight into the next mini arc of Fire And Ice, mentioned that Ember probably hadn’t seen anything other than the first Star Wars, so this seemed like a fun thing to do before getting back to it.
> 
> Fair warning –This is canon (insofar as any of this can be “canon”) unless it clashes with the main fic, in which case main fic takes precedence.
> 
> This’ll probably update post-mini arcs in Fire And Ice. 
> 
> Enjoy!


End file.
